Stumbling along the fine line between careful and careless.

When I meet someone new, there is a race against the clock to get a wide-sweeping disclaimer out there in the open: I am very clumsy. If we go for a walk, I will trip often. If we go out for a meal, I will spill food and drinks.

It’s nice to say it out loud a few times to lay a good foundation for when an accident inevitably happens. Oh, you’re surprised I knocked this whole display over? You really shouldn’t be seeing as I’ve already told you at least once a day for the last three weeks that I am a Clumsy Person. A stumbling, bumbling, butterfingers…

I once heard a comedian make a joke about not using napkins in his lap (lapkins? anyone?). He said that as a grown man, he believed in himself enough to get the food from his plate to his mouth. Me on the other hand, well, if it were socially acceptable for adults to wear bibs in public, I would.

Case in point: Yesterday I cut my top lip while aggressively eating an avocado right out of the peel. Was I really in such a rush? No. Was it that good of an avocado? Yes, but not enough to stab myself with a spoon.

But it goes beyond tripping over my feet and spilling coffee everywhere and always. I’ve had a few incidents that have really put my health at risk: setting my hair on fire, getting electrocuted, etc.

My problem is that I am often absent-minded, not day-dreaming exactly, just that my thoughts can wander elsewhere. I barely give a second thought to the menial tasks of everyday life: eating, walking, etc, and it gets me in trouble. I am quick to blame it on being “clumsy”, and I am now afraid it is just a myth. Claiming to be clumsy all the time is a cop-out. I fear that I’m actually just lazy and careless. If I could re-align my priorities, I’d focus on being present, conscious, and intentional in all things. If anything is worth doing, it’s worth doing well, no matter how menial it may be.

Real Maggie is clumsy, Ideal Maggie is careful.

Are You Clumsy or Just Lazy? first appeared on Paper Clips by Maggie de Barra.

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